Dec
31

New Year – realisations and resolutions!

Filed Under (Personal thoughts, Reflection) by on 31-12-2010 and tagged ,

Well I’m not sure I did too well at blogging in the first 3 months. Time (lack of) was a big factor, but I think I also became afraid of posting, thinking it had to be notable and worthy of sharing on twitter, and that kind of froze my confidence!

However I really regretted not having kept up a stream of regular posts when I came to fill out my first NQT assessment point forms in December. I realised that had I maintained regular posts the blog would have acted as a fantastic evidence file of all I had achieved and done so far. (Mental note to self – must also set up a more efficient system of checking C-standards off before next week!)

2011 is going to be my year of confidence – finding it again and believing in it so it will stay! It has been a shock to realise that the events of the last few years have silently eroded confidence and self-belief as well as a bubbly outgoing personality away.  Odd it took teaching, as well as the steep curve of learning to work as a part of a team to bring the realisation to light, but hopefully it will be the making of rebuilding it as well.

Part of the reason I took a break from twitter, and am still in two minds about it. I needed to focus on real people and rebuild real relationships both at school and with friends outside. Maybe there is a balance to be had. I certainly learn a lot via the PLN I created.

I think perhaps if I do rejoin, I will as ‘me’ (photo included) as somehow subconsciously @apimarynqt (whilst it is of course true) has too many slightly negative connotations that don’t represent who I truly am. I think what I am trying to say is that whilst I have huge amounts of stuff to learn as a teacher, I’m not some young graduate with little other experience and don’t want to be perceived that way. Maybe believing in myself needs to start with accepting exactly who I am. And without being big-headed, I am intelligent and talented in various ways, its a foundation I need to be proud of and build onto.

But intelligence aside – this blog isn’t really going to be the highbrow outlet for any emergent research theories. This is for the regular small stuff as well as the mini triumphs of tribulations of my classroom. Of course I will feel pleased if people still want to read it and make comments, but it’s primary aim is a selfish one – its my evidence record of what I have done and learnt as an NQT.

So here’s to 2011 and a confident 9 months of the remaining academic year!



4 Responses to “New Year – realisations and resolutions!”

  1.   Nikki Says:

    Good to see you back! If you do change your Twitter name please let us know your new name so we can keep in touch!

    Reply

  2.   emmaldawson Says:

    Hi Nicki, glad to see you back! I totally understand where you are coming from with the whole blogging/twitter thing. I love both and find them amazingly helpful but both make me feel inadequate as a teacher on a regular basis and do tend to hold back so I think I need to join you in your resolutions and be more confident and post about the small things too.

    I hope you decide to come back to twitter too as I really enjoy chatting with you 🙂

    Emma (squiggle7)

    Reply

  3.   Becky Searls Says:

    Hi there!
    Stumbled upon your blog via twitter & just thought I’d stop to comment – I think that for me, the mot valuable thing about using twitter as a educator has been the opportunity to see that all of us teachers have these lapses in confidence & that it isn’t at all odd- I still get nervous each say before I walk in to teach my first class of the day; I still have certain classes & students & situations that make me sweat without reason and make me anxious- and I’m in my 4th year in the profession! Its very comforting to read and talk with others in the profession who feel & act the same way 5,10, or even 20 years later. You are not alone!

    Happy new year- hope you are able to feel more self-assured in 2011!

    Becky

    Reply

  4.   Becky Searls Says:

    PS I’m @beckyjoy on twitter

    Reply

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